Wear your breakdown™

For the chronically online, emotionally unstable, and professionally unwell.

Click me to join the chaos
Product mockup

TikTok diagnosed me with autism

Congrats! TikTok did it again and now you have a diagnosis, a personality, and probably a side hustle, all in one scroll. This shirt is for anyone ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Tiktok diagnosed me with ADHD

Congrats! TikTok did it again and now you have a diagnosis, a personality, and probably a side hustle, all in one scroll. This shirt is for anyone ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

1% LIFE

You’re running on 1% LIFE. No willpower in sight. Might survive the day, might not. Perfect for humans who are dying inside. • 100% ring-spun cot...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

my mom thinks i'm special

Oh yes yes, look at you! Your mom says you’re special, soooo you are! Everyone else? Doesn’t matter. But your mom? She’s a genius. You wear this sh...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

keyboard warrior_

You might not win fights in real life, but behind a screen? You’re a gladiator. This shirt honors the unsung heroes of the internet: people who try...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

I'M JUST HERE FOR THE INHERITANCE

My five-year plan: survive long enough to cash the check. Perfect for family dinners, funerals, or casual conversations about “the estate.” • 100%...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

I'm the brand

Some people wear brands. You, however, are the brand. This shirt is for when you’re done being free marketing for corporations and decide to moneti...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

@currentlyexploitingmyself

Ahahahhahaha I’m so punny and original! please make me an influencer so I can exploit myself for $$$$$$$. It is what I was born to do. Please!!! I ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

I get my news from Tiktok

This is how civilization works now. Forget facts, forget context, just scroll, cry, laugh, get emotionally dysregulated. Lose 4 hours of your day, ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Les Bee Anne Hathaway

Dear Anne Hathaway, This shirt exists because of you. Every soft fold of fabric, every luscious inch of print, every chaotic pun screams your name...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

CONVENIENCE over everything

Who has time for patience, effort, or doing literally anything remotely difficult? Microwave your ambition, uber your feelings, and nap like it's y...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

OUTCAST- on purpose

Perfect for ignoring your responsibilities, ghosting your group chats, or just existing in public like a mild inconvenience. Made of fabric that’s ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

CAUTION: OVERSTIMULATED

Warning: Contents of this human brain may implode at any second. Approach at your own risk. Side effects include eye-rolling, panic attacks, and un...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

O bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao, ciao ciao

FUCK FASCIST • 100% ring-spun cotton • Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²) • Garment-dyed • Relaxed fit • 7/8″ double-needle topstitched colla...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Lunatic Ghost

Scooby-Doo, where the fuck are you? We got trauma to solve now. Come through with the snacks and the vibes, Before I have a breakdown. You’re not ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

DO AS I SAY, not as I do

For the managers. For the parents. For the president. For the cops. For the older siblings. This shirt is basically the national motto of people in...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Hi

Hi. I’m high. Perfect for mornings you shouldn’t be functioning, afternoons you can’t stop laughing, and evenings that make zero sense. Wear it, e...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

TIRED

This shirt is for anyone who’s surviving on coffee, memes, and existential dread. Wear your exhaustion proudly. TIRED= the only mood that matters. ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Home Sweet Home

Earth is on fire. Chaos reigns. And you? Here for the ride. • 100% combed ring-spun cotton • Heather Gray is 90% cotton, 10% polyester • Fabric we...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Les Bee Anne

Iconic. Gay. • 100% combed ring-spun cotton • Heather Gray is 90% cotton, 10% polyester • Fabric weight: 4.3 oz./yd.² (145 g/m²) • Yarn diameter:...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Home is where the PSYCHOS are

you know its true • Hangers made from natural wood • Hanger piece thickness: 0.2″ (0.5 mm) • Hanger piece width: 0.79″ (2 cm) • Paper weight: 192 ...
$35.00
View product
Product mockup

WHY ARE YOU SCANNING MY TITS

I know they are nice mammary sacks but why are you scanning my tits? Scan the QR code- if you dare • 100% ring-spun cotton • Fabric weight: 6.1 ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Hang In There

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA i am not liable LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA Comedy is a bubble, and the bubble encompasses many different things. This i...
$55.00
View product
Product mockup

Hang In There

I'm going to explain myself on this one. Comedy is a bubble, and the bubble encompasses many different things. This is one of those things. Laughin...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

your husband is hot

Just thought you should know. Don’t shoot the messenger. I don’t endorse cheating. But I do support looking good while minding other people’s busin...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

your husband is hot

Just thought you should know. Don’t shoot the messenger. I don’t endorse cheating. But I do support looking good while minding other people’s busi...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

winner of the trauma olympics

Gold medal in oversharing. Silver in spiraling. Honorable mention for “most likely to joke about it.” Perfect for late-night spirals, sad walks, or...
$52.00
View product
Product mockup

WINNER OF THE TRAUMA OLYMPICS

You didn’t ask to be here - but if we’re competing, you’re taking gold. You’ve got the backstory, the therapist, the dissociation skills, and the a...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Why would I cook if I'm always serving

You thought this was about food? Baby, I serve looks, drama, delusion, and existential dread - daily! Wear it when you're burning dinner and bridge...
$42.00
View product
Product mockup

Spongebrain = Overstimulated

So overstimulated I can’t even write a funny product description. There’s a rainbow. Spongebrain is holding it together- barely. Enjoy. • 100% com...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Route 69

My intentions are on my shirt and my intentions are to get under that skirt Peen or vag or something in between i don't mind come 69 • 100% comb...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

rentable boyfriend

The emotional equivalent of a 7-day free trial. No refunds, no returns, just red flags. • 100% ring-spun cotton • Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Too self-aware to function.

You understand everything - your patterns, your childhood, your attachment style, your avoidance issues - and yet… here you are. In bed. In debt. I...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

"That's like the black calling the kettle pot." [sic]

This shirt is strictly for petty reasons • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

silently judging you

Perfect for staring blankly in public, blinking slowly in disbelief, and answering “ok... i need to go home” with a deep, haunted sigh. Wear it so ...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Route 666

I"M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL • 100% combed ring-spun cotton • Heather Gray is 90% cotton, 10% polyester • Fabric weight: 4.3 oz./yd.² (145 g/m²) • Y...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

HOT but inconvenient

You show up late, forget your charger, and somehow still have 42 people in love with you. A walking red flag with great bone structure. Wear as a w...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

McTittyFucked

WARNING: WEARING THIS SHIRT MAY RESULT IN UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER Featuring the iconic mammary arches we all know and love. I can't even finish thi...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

LOBOTOMY DEPT. EST. 1946

I need a lobotomy. Immediately. This shirt is for anyone whose brain is just screams, static, and unskippable intrusive thoughts. Featuring the ic...
$52.00
View product
Product mockup

LOBOTOMY DEPR. EST. 1946

I need a lobotomy. ASAP This shirt is for anyone whose brain is just screams, static, and intrusive thoughts. Featuring the iconic “ice pick throu...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

KILLL ME SLOWLY

At one point you were screaming “KILL ME” into the void. Now? You whisper “kill me... slowly” with a resigned smile and a face mask on. Growth. Th...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

KILL ME

For legal reasons, this is a joke. For emotional reasons… kill me. This shirt is for the people who whisper “kill me” at every minor inconvenience...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

just a vessel

my soul may or may not be on backorder • 100% ring-spun cotton • Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²) • Garment-dyed • Relaxed fit • 7/8″ double...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

I would die for $3

Bro, I’m not even kidding. Minimum wage ≠ minimum dignity. This isn’t a shirt, it’s a cry for help with cute font. Buy it before I sell a kidney on...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

i though this was therapy

Because anything can be therapy if it makes you feel better - even for a moment. Wear this while you trauma dump on your coworkers or while you tak...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

i lost my virginity at a vape shop

Blue razz in the air. A Red Bull in hand. You hit your mint vape. I hit regret. The floors were sticky. So was I. • 100% combed and ring-spun cott...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

I like rice.

This shirt isn’t for everyone- just the ones who treat their rice cooker better than their mom. I know there’s a 50lb bag in your pantry- rep it pr...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Hungover

Because sometimes the party lasts longer than your memory. • 100% ring-spun cotton • Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²) • Garment-dyed • Relax...
$32.00
View product
Product mockup

Housewife Hunter

Is that a threat or a kink? Either way, I’m kinda excited • 50% cotton, 50% polyester • Pre-shrunk • Classic fit • 1x1 athletic rib knit collar wi...
$48.00
View product
Product mockup

Housewife Hunter

Is that a threat or a kink? Either way, I’m kinda excited • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4...
$32.00
View product